Dog Putting Wally to Shame

Chilled Dog on Scooter

Photo Source: FT Facebook

See The Motorscooter Diaries for the shame.

Krabi - A Series of (Un)fortunate Events

In our last installment of the adventure of Wally and Yakki in Krabi-land, we sum up the unfortunate events that occurred during our adventure.

Scooter scratched
Toe gash
Engine died downhill
Engine died uphill
Feeling useless over and over again

Behind the scenes with Aunt Pad Thai

As we ate at the roadside stall outside our hotel, we reflected on the trip. We realised we belonged to a pampered nation, a strawberry generation.

Looking back, we were not that unfortunate, we were not sibei sway. In fact, we were very heng, very lucky. We were thankful for the tom yam that we were savouring, the pad thai that we could still devour.

What could have happened instead,

Scooter scrapped
Toe loss
We died downhill
We died uphill
Never feeling ever again

Dark but fluffy clouds

Last but not least, we could have gotten the vomit-diarrhea effect (上吐下泻) after that roadside dinner, but all we had the morning after was a Kings of Leon tune in us.

"You, your ass is on fire..."

Krabi - Engine Overheats

The alarm clock rang at 10 am. It was wakey-wakey and time to make our journey back to Krabi.

Becoming smarter by the hour, we asked the receptionist for a route with the least treacherous terrain out of Phuket. We grabbed a proper map (for once) and left Hotel Ibis.

Taking the route towards Kamala Beach, we were driving up a small hill when the temperature meter showed us the red. The engine was overheating once again. We were by now immune to such occurrences and calmly stopped the car for an assessment.

Sexy Transformer Metal

Wally and Yakki Present: What to do when your engine overheats?

1. Turn off the engine - As with any machinery, when in doubt or on fire, switching off the appliance/equipment is the most obvious option. After doing so, di gong (pretend that nothing happened) for a few minutes to regain composure.

2. Recall all the old man talk - When my old man mentioned that my car's engine coolant required topping up, I thought he meant that my wiper fluid had ran out. He went on to teach me the ways of life by explaining that water could be added to ensure engine coolant is sufficient for driving.

3. Check with petrol-heads - If you're not sure what your old man taught you is in line with the current generation of petrol-heads, call or text one to ask him for advice. He will tell you that it is okay to add water to coolant, but it is better to add the real coolant. Also, check for radiator leakage by looking under the engine compartment as that might be the cause of the insufficient fluids.

4. Still unsure? Hitchhike to the nearest petrol kiosk for help! - Daniels and Yakki braved the rain on a scooter without helmets. It was how the Thais travelled. Three men on one scooter for 200 baht. A helpful mechanic brought some water to top up the coolant. Upon seeing the radiator, the burly mechanic assessed that it was leaking and required some patchwork. It cost us 500 baht to restore our car for the return trip.

We knew we lacked practical life skills, but Thailand exposed our ignorance.

Lovely weather on our return

A few hours later, we returned to Krabi safely, having graduated from the college of himbotics.

Krabi - Wally and Yakki Go to Patong Beach

Spot the Difference!

Answer: Half-naked man on right picture.

Driving south along Highway 402, we finally reached Phuket town.

We were to chill and grab a couple of beers before making our way back to Krabi. The destination of choice for our night out was a random bar at Patong Beach, about 20 minutes from Phuket town.

So at ease with our compass-led driving, we knew we just had to hit east on road 4020 and road 4029 to get to Patong.

As the hilly terrains of Phuket tested Yakki's mountain-driving, the mood within the Toyota Gxi was upbeat. It felt like we were about to achieve something great, something monumental.

Dudes, can you hear that?

"Nah, the radio's crap. Turn it off, man. We'll get some real music at the pub."

No no, listen.

Ten seconds of awkward machinery noises followed.

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"**** **** ****! The engine's dead. CB CB CB! Steering's gone."

For the second time in a day, we looked like we were in serious trouble. Our car was going downhill and all we had was Yakki's hand-braking technique.

!@#$%^& (braking sound)

Fortunately, we were at the gradual end of a steep slope. Yakki had brought the plane safely down and we were alive.

"Oh man! Did the battery die?"

Dude, that can't happen when the engine's running, right?

We were bewildered and lost. The engine had overheated. Perhaps it had overworked on the Phuket hills. A bunch of grown men boys, we didn't know what to do. Disgrace to man-kind.

Still, Yakki and I burst out in uncontrollable laughter, amused by our predicament. Daniels stood still, possibly re-enacting a concoction of Fino-Toyota disaster.

"**** it man! Let's go grab a beer."

We felt like Harold and Kumar going to the White Castle. We abandoned our car in front of a empty rental house.

Kidding!

Having drinks and returning to the wrong spot would be pure stupidity. As if we had not displayed enough of that in a day. So, we took down the GPS coordinates on my BlackBerry, marking our dead car's position.

Still, we had a mission to fulfill. We flew to Patong on a tuk tuk.

Dizzy Tuk Tuk Ride

The ice brr cold beers. Shiok.

Three hours of driving, two near-death experiences and two ice cold beers later, Yakki was drained. It would be unwise for us to drive back to Krabi. We returned to collect our car, hoping it would work after it cooled down. And it did. 谢天谢地!

We drove to a nearby hotel to get a room.

Finally, we were of some use to ourselves. We bargained the room rates from 3800 baht down to 2625 baht. Wally and I shared a room (don't worry twin beds, not double), while the bigger Daniels enjoyed the neighbouring room.

We committed room adultery, deserting our cosy Aonang Cliff Beach Resort room for the sluttier, sexier Ibis.

Krabi - Road Trippin'

Krabi town was not as lively as we thought it could be. The town was a mere 2km by 5km in size and, to us, had nothing interesting. So we decided to head back to Aonang after all the vehicular trouble we had.

With an overcast sky and an impending storm, our options in Krabi were limited. We could not do cave kayaking at the Ao Luk region of Krabi nor sail to and snorkel around the Chicken Island, Dog Island or Phi Phi Islands (pronounced as pee pee).

Brewing storm

"I heard Phuket's kinda nearby."

According to the receptionists at the resort, Phuket Island was 200 km away from where we were. According to Google Maps, it was exactly 178 km away. 178 km was a mere 2 hours of driving at 90 km/h. According to us, it was time to go.

In our excitement to leave the dark skies in Krabi, we forgot an important article for a road trip. A real map. Instead, we memorised a generic map for the journey.

See red lines for directions: go north, go west, go south.

On a pseudo-highway with scooters moving against the flow of traffic, 178 km appeared distant. After an hour of driving, our primary manual car driver Yakki began to wonder if we were off-track. Refusing to incur hefty overseas data charges on our iPhones or BlackBerry maps, we turned to a compass, scouts-style.

"I believe we should turn left to head west now, yeah?"
Yes, turn left and drive Y km, then turn left and keep going. We'll be in Phuket-land.

We did not worry about the absence of a true map or the lack of road lamps or the performance of our car's toy headlights. Because we were brave men, we did not worry about losing our way in unfamiliar territories. We had no fear. Right.

Creepy-looking skies and roads

Truth is, we had bigger things to worry after reaching Phuket.